Reviewing "The Little Book-Room" by Eleanor Farjeon

I really liked Eleanor Farjeon’s Humming Bird, a novel geared toward adults. In a completely different way, I also like The Little Book Room, a collection of Farjeon’s short stories for children—most of which are fairy tales.

Like any collection of short stories, some chapters are better than others. Some were sort of sad, like The Miracle of the Poor Island, which reminded me of Andersen’s The Little Mermaid. Others (and these were the ones I preferred) were witty and tongue-in-cheek, similar to E. Nesbit’s Melisande. Here are my three favorite entries: 

Poetry Thoughts 2018: James Russell Lowell's "A Fable for Critics"

Poems stereotypically deal with weighty topics like love, death, transience, time, art, nature, humanity…and yet, sometimes poems are simply writing that rhymes. Sometimes poems are even funny—and I’m not just talking bawdy limericks, but witty satires. A Fable for Critics is basically a compendium of literary criticism of some of the other poets contained in The Oxford Book of American Verse, which makes James Russell Lowell’s work rather “meta.” And, considering he’s a poet criticizing his peers (perhaps betters?), it can come across as varied tones of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, passive-aggressive jealousy, and sometimes just plain mudslinging. I loved it.

Reviewing "The Swoop!" by P.G. Wodehouse

“It will be news to the Man in the Street to learn that, with the possible exception of the Black Hand, the Scouts are perhaps the most carefully-organised secret society in the world.”

The Swoop is one of the few PG Wodehouse stories that does not involve:

     a) A love-stricken chap

     b) A beautiful girl

     c) An overbearing aunt

     d) Theft or attempted theft at a stereotypical country house

In fact, it is very unlike most PG Wodehouse books I’ve read, in that it doesn’t include a lot of the twists and turns and mistaken identities and broken engagements and other convoluted situations from which Jeeves is ever extricating Bertie Wooster.

Instead, this story is about Clarence Chugwater and his fellow Boy Scouts as they oust an invasion on England from…well, everyone. Despite being different from the other books I’ve read by Wodehouse, there are still the hijinks, the lightning-quick wordplay, and the over-the-top characters.

The Mabinogion - An Easy Quest

Since Sir Owain tends to be a jerk going around in disguise and making all his relatives—including King Arthur himself—put out Missing Persons lists about him, portraits of him on whatever Camelot used for milk cartons, and generally assuming he was dead in the ditch somewhere, a fair amount of The Mabinogion’s Camelot segment is devoted to people going on quests looking for him.

One of my favorite exchanges is the result. King Arthur, now thinking that Owain is dead, has put out a call to his knights to go out into the land and find out Owain’s ultimate fate. Before anyone goes anywhere, though, he puts on a grand tournament…which of course Owain shows up to in disguise.

In a rare instance of poetic justice to Owain—the other one being where a dwarf gives him a good smack—his opponent is also in disguise. It’s Gawain (here called Gwalchmai), which, taking into account their uncle Arthur’s penchant for going incognito as the Black Knight, and also Arthur’s sisters Morgause and Morgan le Fay being enchantresses who regularly change their appearance, makes me think this whole disguise-y thing is a family trait.

Emmuska Orczy's Lord Tony's Wife - A Parody - Part 2

Last we left our heroes, Lord Tony (friend and sidekick to the Scarlet Pimpernel himself) and French aristocrat Yvonne de Kernogan in oblivious marital bliss. But Yvonne's British-hating father is intent on having the marriage declared null and void, and marry her off to the rich Frenchman Martin-Roget. Unbeknownst to everyone, Martin-Roget is actually Pierre Adet, a Revolutionary who has sworn revenge against the de Kernogans because of the unjust death of his father...

Scene 6

DE KERNOGAN: Oh my daughter how I’ve missed you!

YVONNE: Dad? Are you feeling okay? You’re looking all sentimental and suspiciously not furious with me for marrying an Englishman against your will. Also, how can you have missed me? It’s only been like 16 hours since I eloped.

DE KERNOGAN: How can you say such hurtful things about your loving papa? You know I’ve always had your best interest at heart.

YVONNE: So what was all that “You’d better marry Martin-Roget or else!” stuff?

DE KERNOGAN: I only wanted you to marry Martin-Roget because he was rich and handsome and French and awesome (although those last two things are so alike it’s redundant). If I’d known you already had a boyfriend I would have supported your decision.

YVONNE: I told you I was in love with Lord Tony! And us getting married should be no surprise to you. After all, look at the title of this book! I’m Lord Tony’s Wife!

DE KERNOGAN: Still, there was no need to keep this a secret from your old man, to get married in the middle of the night rather than in pomp and circumstance! I didn’t even get to give you away at the altar!

YVONNE: Well, Dad, I guess I’ve completely misjudged you on account of you behaving like a controlling jerk all my life. I’m so sorry! Here, stay with us for a while and completely ruin our honeymoon.

LORD TONY: I told you we should have gone to Niagara Falls.

DE KERNOGAN: Okay, you’ve talked me into it. But just so you know, *cough cough* I’m not feeling all that good. You know how frail and sickly your poor elderly father is, and how close to death…you know what I think I want to go home and die in my own bed.

YVONNE: Oh no!

DE KERNOGAN: Don’t you worry about me. *cough cough* Weak and helpless as I am, I can make it home on my own…probably.

YVONNE: Father you can’t go alone! Tony, is it okay if I escort my father home?

LORD TONY: Sure! What can go wrong?

Emmuska Orczy's Lord Tony's Wife - A Parody - Part 1

As with the other Emmuska Orczy Scarlet Pimpernel books I’ve read thus far, Lord Tony’s Wife did not disappoint me in its entertainment value. This is a novel placed during the French Revolution and decidedly pro-aristocracy, but political leanings aside this novel—along with the others of its genre—is good, hyperdramatic, swashbuckling fun. And because of this, it's also extremely fun to summarize, hence the "sweded" drama below.

In this installment, one of our hero the Scarlet Pimpernel’s sidekicks, Sir Tony, takes center stage with his love, Yvonne. But, as with almost all Pimpernel novels, the cunning, daring, proto-Batman legend plays a pivotal role. Also back for more punishment is the Pimpernel’s sworn enemy Chauvelin. As their cat-and-mouse game continues, poor Tony and (not really a spoiler alert) his wife end up as pawns while the dogged Chauvelin once again tries to trap his nemesis.

Our story begins with Pierre Adet, fiery revolutionary and son of the decent local miller, stirring up a mob to go after the local aristocrat, le duc de Kernogan. Just as the reader begins to hear the “Kill the Beast” song from Beauty and the Beast, along comes a carriage, driven by faithful servant Jean-Marie, and conveniently carrying the duc’s only child, the beautiful and headstrong Yvonne:

Scene 1

YVONNE: Jean-Marie! Why have we stopped here?

JEAN-MARIE: Because I just got a tipoff that there’s a mob at the crossroads.

YVONNE: So?

JEAN-MARIE: They have scythes and spades and axes.

YVONNE: What’s your point?

JEAN-MARIE: I think we should send a scout to see what’s going on.

YVONNE: So what you’re saying is you’re afraid of a few murderous bloodthirsty revolutionaries.

JEAN-MARIE: Yup.

YVONNE: Jean-Marie, that’s silly! I’m the proud and feisty daughter of the local aristocrat and therefore have nothing to fear from such aristocrat-hating scum. Take me home, Jeeves!

JEAN-MARIE: But my lady…

YVONNE: If you don’t take me home you are disobeying my orders and therefore should just go join those rebels! Also, I will fire you.

JEAN-MARIE: Fine. But don’t get mad when…

PIERRE: Oh ho ho, what do we have here?

JEAN-MARIE: Nothing. Just me and some random anonymous non-aristocrat person taking an evening cruise suspiciously in the direction of the de Kernogan estate.

MOB: It’s totally de Kernogan’s carriage! Let’s see who’s inside!

YVONNE: Hum, I’m starting to think that maybe my cowardly servant was right.

MOB: It’s de Kernogan’s daughter! Let’s throw her into the mud like her kind has done to our people all this time!

YVONNE: Yeahhhh definitely starting to regret my pride and fearlessness.

PIERRE *breaking into the carriage* I’ve got you, my pretty!

YVONNE: EEEK YOU’RE LIKE THE DEVIL HIMSELF *faints*

JEAN-MARIE: I’m getting outta here! *drives away* Hum that wasn’t as hard as I thought. I wonder why I didn’t just drive full speed through the mob, to begin with? Oh well, I’m sure this little incident will have no long-lasting consequences….

Romeo and Juliet: An Alternate Version

It is the true mark of tragedy, particularly the literary genre, that the terrible ending is almost always completely avoidable. The saying goes, “But for a horse, the kingdom was lost.” When it comes to Shakespearean pacing, however, it’s not so much a horse that’s missing, as just a few more soliloquys. 

Let’s take Romeo and Juliet, since, as the death of the main characters in any Shakespearean tragedy is a foregone conclusion, I doubt it would cause an uproar if I spoil the ending. 

Most people know the ending of the play, but here is the recap of what happens right before the tears get jerked: Romeo and Juliet, being from two feuding families, have fallen in love and married in secret. Juliet is being pressured by her dad to marry this other guy named Paris, and since she’s gotten married in secret to her father’s mortal enemy she can’t well explain the whole situation. Well, she could. But that would have forced the families to get along without their children’s untimely demise.  Can you imagine the Thanksgivings?* Since this is a tragedy, though, that would be totally ridiculous. So instead Juliet does the only rational thing. She runs away and a Friar helps her fake her death.

The Importance of Seeing a Live Performance

Over the weekend a friend of mine treated me to a showing of one of my favorite plays, Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest. Though it's one of my favorites, it had been quite some time not only since I'd read the play, but also since I've even seen the movie with Judi Dench, Colin Firth, Rupert Everett and Reese Witherspoon. In a way, although I knew the plot and most of the lines by heart, the play felt fresh and new.

Now I don't want to give away too much of the play's plot, because like so many comedies to spoil the plot would be to spoil some of the surprise and comedic suspense. So when I tell you that Earnest is a comedy centered on secret identities, double lives, twisting social conventions and figures of speech on their ear...I know it's going to sound boring, but believe me that I'm trying to save the best for when you actually see or read this play for yourself.  

(For those readers who already know the plot, c'mon. You know I'm right.)

Reviewing Cervantes' "Don Quixote"

I like to review books that I recommend as opposed to standing next to a book with a warning sign, partly because my mission is to encourage you readers in the great expanse of the internet to love books as much as I do, but also because, as my fellow English majors would agree, it’s easier to criticize a book’s failings than laud its merits.** So as an exercise in positivism, I stay away from books I hate and try to put forward the hidden literary gems from classic and not-so-classic genres. 

That said, being a voracious reader sometimes comes with the same side-effect as being a food critic. Just as a gourmand may turn up their nose at a lot of things in favor of one quality bite, I sometimes find myself feeling “meh, it was okay” about most books. But then once in a while that one quality book comes along that reminds me of what drew me into reading in the first place. 

One of those books was El ingenioso hidalgo don Quijote de la Mancha AKA The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha, AKA Don Quixote.  Now, I’ve owned this book since I was about twelve and started to snobbishly buy any book that looked old and had gold leaf on the spine. 

“Oh look,” I’d say to myself (quietly because this was usually at a library book-sale and librarians tend to frown on exclamations of joy even when said exclamations are caused by reading material***), “This book has gold leaf on it, it must be a classic!  I am SO smart and will read this and be cultured, sitting in my leather wing-back chair next to a fireplace with the theme song from Masterpiece Classic playing in the background.”

Reviewing P.G. Wodehouse's "Laughing Gas"

It was my first exposure to P.G. Wodehouse, and I didn’t know it until years afterward. This is how it all began: my devious mother got me a “comedy book on cassette.” Already I have to interrupt myself to explain cassettes to the young and ignorant whippersnapper readers.  Are you sitting comfortably? “Cassettes,” dear children, are from the era you’ve probably been taught in history class to refer to as B.C.D., that is Before CD’s. CD’s, you may vaguely recall, are those coaster-shaped things that you used to use before you got an iPod and started downloading everything. 

But as I was saying, my mom checked out this “comedy” book on cassette from the library.  Maybe she was being her usual devious self. Maybe she had intended to listen to it in her nonexistent spare time, and when she realized the futility of this intention she passed it on to me so I wouldn’t annoy her by listening to The Adventure of the Speckled Band for the fortieth time. Either way, I listened to it.

"The Blue Castle": The Search for Adequate Cover Art

I love The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery. The problem is, I don't have a hardcover version of it, and my paperback version is getting beat up. So I used my blog as an excuse to "research" different covers, looking for a replacement. Unfortunately, it looks like the majority of cover artists--like the majority of readers in general--have never read the actual novel. 

"Take a castle, paint it blue!" seemed to be the consensus. Even if the results are psychedelic.