Some Father-Son Bonding Between Nestor and Paris

NESTOR: Welcome to Troy, population 1500.  I’m its king, Nestor.

PARIS: Hi dad, my name is Paris and I’m your younger son.

NESTOR: I immediately believe you despite lack of DNA verification. Good thing that shepherd named you exactly the same thing I would’ve named you if I hadn’t abandoned you on that mountain.

PARIS: About that, you owe me money to pay for a therapist to deal with those abandonment issues. Why did you abandon me anyway?

NESTOR: Oh, something about a prophecy that you would get us all killed and make the kingdom fall. By the way, who’s this?

PARIS: My wife Helen. I stole her from Menelaus.

NESTOR: That’s my boy! Wait, what?

PARIS: You know, Menelaus? The king who won Helen fair and square and has this whole posse of other people who wanted to marry her in his corner coming for her any second now. I thought maybe I could lay low here.

NESTOR: Yes, because nobody would look for you here, in the kingdom where you are a prince.

PARIS: Exactly. 

HUGE GREEK ARMY: Attack!

NESTOR: Wait a minute, how would they know you were a prince of Troy when even you didn’t know? 

PARIS: Um, I might have maybe left a forwarding address after I found out I was a prince from the goddesses. 

NESTOR: I’m beginning to wonder how good an education your shepherd father gave you out in the sticks.

PARIS: What?  I didn’t want my mail to get lost.

NESTOR: You are dumb as a brick. But you sure are pretty. I’m sure that prophecy person didn’t know what they were talking about. They must’ve just been high on snake fumes or something. Come on in, your brother Hector will be thrilled to meet you.