Passive-Aggressive Poetry Selections

Just because I’m still talking about you, William Carlos Williams, doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you for This is Just to Say.
 
However, it is fun to make up similar passive-aggressive poems. There are entire forums on the internet for posting them. Unfortunately, as with every awesome internet phenomenon, there are trolls who like to post random expletive-ridden and dirty parodies. So I will simply present you with the five best homages, arduously and skillfully selected according to scientific empirical statistical…okay fine I admit they’re just the ones I find funny.


From http://www.schmutzie.com/weblog/2009/4/8/this-is-just-to-say.html :

This is just to say
I saw your
passive aggressive note
on the break room microwave.
In spite, I reheated my spaghetti
without covering it.
The tomato sauce spattered like
angry constellations
and it tasted
so much better.

                                                                   Thursday, April 9, 2009 | paper napkin
From http://thisisjusttosay.tumblr.com/ :

I have eaten the plums

that were in the icebox

Spooock!

                                                                                     by JHarris in this post

I am stealing
the cash
that is in
the vault box

and which
you were probably
saving
for account holders

Forgive me
no dye packs
and no
one gets hurt

                   (by mccarty.tim in this thread

I have eaten
the manatees
that were in
the ocean

and which
you were probably
saving
from extinction

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so mana-tasty

                    (by mattdidthat in this post)

I have ignored
the link
that was in
your post

and which
you were probably
hoping
for praise

Forgive me
it was lengthy
so huge
and so long

                     (By Sourwookie in this post)